Skip to main content

"Shit Happens"- Economic Crisis & Bart Simpson Defence...

Shit happens, but why Brian?

Brian Cowen seems to have decided to take refuge in a variation on what is known in political speak as the Bart Simpson defence.

And no, relax, he's not suggesting we eat his shorts, more the other Bartism: "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything.'' Cowen's version was: "There's no crisis, OK maybe there is a crisis but it's not my fault, why can't you people get it through your thick skulls that there is a crisis."

Back at the start of the summer, when even Fine Gael knew there was something wrong, Cowen was telling us that the fundamentals were sound. Having announced a saving of half a billion, which was going to solve all our problems, Cowen and his whole Government then disappeared for the whole summer as the world plunged into crisis.

Then they all reappeared after their long break to concede that, all things taken into account and having examined the figures, there might be a problem. The important thing though was that the problem was not Cowen's fault. It was a fairly typical civil service reaction. When confronted with an urgent situation in the private sector our immediate reaction is to look for a solution; in the civil service the priority is to cover your ass.

And then Cowen moved into phase three, which was to hector us, the people, for not getting the magnitude of the crisis. Even though most of us got it long before Cowen did. In his latest opus in Hot Press, Cowen suggested last week that everything was fine in Ireland until Lehman Brothers. So Brian Cowen thought things were fine with Irish banking and the financial system until September 15. So Bank of Ireland shares, for example, had lost about three quarters of their value before Lehmans happened, but Brian still thought everything was fine? Truly he has the finely honed instincts of a trained killer.

In general, Cowen has been practising a new form of government. We like to call it the "shit-happens" school of government. Basically, you go around acting like you are just a bewildered outsider watching events unfold, events that are completely outside your control. Events which you cannot, nor should you be expected to, do anything about. And you talk gravely about how bad it all is and what a shock it all is, and then you kind of shrug your shoulders as if to say, "Shit happens".

"There's financial turmoil out there," Cowen says, "from which we cannot go on thinking we're immune." So true. Except the rest of us never thought we were immune. Did Brian Cowen? Bizarre. He talks too of the need for "dialogue with the public so we understand what we're facing into and why we should confront it". Hilarious. We've been confronting it since before Cowen knew it was happening. We confronted it all summer while he was on holidays.

Nice to see you've caught up Bri.


Report - Sunday Independent Newspaper.

Popular posts from this blog

Ireland's Celtic Tiger Excesses...

'Bang twins' may never get to run a business again... POST-boom Ireland is awash with cautionary tales of Celtic Tiger excesses, as a rattle around the carcasses of fallen property developers and entrepreneurs will show. Few can compete with the so-called Bang twins for youth, glamour and tasteful extravagance. Simon and Christian Stokes, the 35-year-old identical twins behind Bang Cafe and exclusive private members club, Residence, saw their entire business go bust with debts of €9m, €3m of which is owed to the tax man. The debt may be in the ha'penny place compared with the eye-watering billions owed by some of their former customers. But their fall has been arguably steeper and more damning than some of the country's richest tycoons. Last week, further humiliation was heaped on them with revelations that even as their businesses were going under, the twins spent €146,000 of company money in 18 months on designer shopping sprees, five star holidays and sumptu...

Young, Irish And Out Of Here...

As the government continues to pump billions into our much discredited banking system, many Irish people unable to find work here are facing into a future outside of this country. John Downes, News Investigations Correspondent, spoke to some of the new Irish diaspora about their recent experiences of emigration... By any stretch of the imagination, they were a startling set of figures, prompting echoes of a past which we thought we had left behind. According to ESRI data released last week, we can expect net emigration of 60,000 in the year to this April – and a further 40,000 by April 2011. That's almost 1,000 of our best and brightest leaving every week. Yet the ESRI's predictions are simply the latest – if most stark – indications of a return to mass emigration among Ireland's unemployed, as the downturn has continued to take its toll. In September, for example, the Central Statistics Office revealed that Ireland witnessed a return to net emigration for the first time si...

Property Tycoon's Dolce Vita Ends...

Tycoon's dolce vita ends as art seized... THE Dublin city sheriff has seized an art collection and other valuables from the Ailesbury Road home of fallen property developer Bernard McNamara. The collection will be sold to help pay his debts. The sheriff, Brendan Walsh, is believed to have moved against the property developer within the past fortnight, calling to his salubrious Dublin 4 home acting on a court order to seize anything of value from his home to reimburse his creditors. The sheriff is believed to have taken paintings from the family home along with a small number of other items. The development marks a new low for Mr McNamara, once one of Ireland's richest men but who now owes €1.5bn . The property developer and former county councillor from Clare turned the building firm founded by his father Michael into one of the biggest in Ireland. He is the highest-profile former tycoon to date to be targeted by bailiffs, signalling just how far some of Ireland's billionai...